“When David was told about this, he sent messengers to meet the men, for they were greatly humiliated. The king said, ‘Stay at Jericho till your beards have grown, and then come back.’ When the Ammonites realized that they had become obnoxious to David, they hired twenty thousand Aramean foot soldiers from Beth Rehob and Zobah, as well as the king of Maakah with a thousand men, and also twelve thousand men from Tob. On hearing this, David sent Joab out with the entire army of fighting men. The Ammonites came out and drew up in battle formation at the entrance of their city gate, while the Arameans of Zobah and Rehob and the men of Tob and Maakah were by themselves in the open country.”—2 Samuel 10:5–8 (NIV)

Have you ever been humiliated in such a way that it makes you act in a way you know you shouldn’t? Maybe you’re angry at a friend and want to make them feel as you do—an eye for an eye. Perhaps you’re the opposite and prefer to bury your head in the sand in order to hide and avoid conflict. Because of sin, our impulse is to act opposite to God’s will. In this passage, David leans away from that sinful nature to show compassion and honor, while the Ammonites double down on their wrongdoing.

David has every right to be angry towards the Ammonites and is probably tempted to respond with violence. His men, whom he sent forth peacefully, have been humiliated and degraded. The choice to shave off these men’s beards is a deliberate attempt to humiliate them, David, and the whole of Israel. The Ammonites quickly realize how dishonorably they’ve acted towards David. The way both parties respond next shows us the difference God’s will makes in our lives.

First, let’s look at David. Many would lash out in retribution, but David chooses to care for his men and keep their dignity intact. His first act isn’t anger towards the Ammonites but compassion towards his men. Because of David’s choice to lead with compassion and love, God protects Israel in the face of this insult.

Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) tells us to “lean not on [our] understanding.” If there’s a passage in Scripture that shows us what happens when we do just that, this is it. The Ammorites are immediately suspicious of David’s actions, act without thinking, and make themselves obnoxious to David. When they realize their error, rather than seeking reconciliation, they dig their grave deeper and hire thousands of men to fight against David. What started as suspicion led to hatefulness and then to fear. Perhaps David would have offered reconciliation, but they never got to find out. The Ammorites thought only about what they would do instead of what David might do.

When you let your emotions lead you, they often lead you to a place you can’t get out of on your own. The good news is that you have a generous God who loves you. Jesus tells us that He’s the gate and “whoever enters through [Him] will be saved” (John 10:9 NIV). No matter how badly you mess up, if you come before God in humility and repentance, He can bring you out of any situation.

Pause: In addition to today’s passage, reflect on Proverbs 3:5. Think about a time when you relied on your knowledge, or the knowledge of others, rather than God. What was the outcome? How could the outcome have been different if you had chosen to seek the wisdom of the Lord?

Practice: Next time you’re in a bad situation, whether by your own doing or by someone else’s, take a moment to pray to God. Take a deep breath and ask yourself if this is God’s will. Don’t act without seeking the wisdom of God. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you—and He will.

Pray: Father, give me the awareness to stop and think before I act. May none of my actions contradict what You desire, especially those that impact those around me. Let me honor You today through my words and actions. Amen.