Scripture Guide

Have you ever felt like you’re doing pretty well spiritually until someone makes your life difficult? Maybe it’s the coworker who constantly complains, the family member who knows exactly how to push your buttons, the driver who cuts you off in traffic, or perhaps it’s the neighbor who seems determined to be unpleasant every time you cross paths. Then you read Jesus’ words: “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and suddenly the command doesn’t feel quite as simple as it sounded.

Let me be totally transparent. Before I became a Christian, I lived next door to a woman who was incredibly grumpy. She had a permanent scowl etched across her face. No matter how polite you were, she looked like she was smelling onions every time she saw you. I’m embarrassed to admit it now, but we gave her a nickname—we called her “Bitter.”

We’d say things like, “Did you see the way Bitter parked her car?” or “I don’t want to go to the mailbox right now because Bitter is outside.” Looking back from a much more mature place in my life, I can’t help but wonder what that woman had endured. Like all of us, she probably carried wounds, disappointments, grief, and heartache. The truth is, had I experienced her circumstances, I might have become just like her. Any of us can become bitter if we don’t allow God to heal the painful places in our hearts.

When I consider the full context of Jesus’ command, it becomes even more powerful. Jesus said: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” He also said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39 NIV, emphasis added).

Yet that raises an important question: What does biblical love actually look like? It’s easy to love people who love us. Jesus Himself said, “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” (Matthew 5:46 ESV).

Biblical love is beautiful, but it can also be incredibly challenging to practice consistently. That’s why I love 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. It gives us a practical picture of love in action. Early in my walk with the Lord, the pastor challenged our congregation to read those verses and replace the word “love” with our own name. Are you patient and kind? Are you not easily angered and keep no record of wrongs?

It’s one thing to understand these qualities intellectually. It’s a whole other thing entirely to live them out when dealing with difficult people. When I think back to my neighbor, I wonder how differently I might have responded if I had looked at her through the lens of compassion rather than irritation. Perhaps the command to love my neighbor would have felt less overwhelming if I had first paused to consider her pain.

Love doesn’t begin by evaluating whether someone deserves our kindness. Love begins by seeing people the way God sees them—broken, valuable, and in need of grace.